Yes, it’s been almost 50 years since I flew the coop.

And during quiet introspective moments, I find myself comparing what I am now to that 21-year old kid boarding the plane for the United States in 1969. 

Surely, the physical changes are quite obvious: a little heavier, trifocal glasses, facial lines and wrinkles, false teeth, and the moustache/goatee/baldness replacing that good thick head of black hair.

Setting the physical aspects aside; however, I believe that over time I have become somewhat smarter, more mature, less emotional, more accepting, wiser, and worldlier.

But I keep on thinking back to determine what I now miss about him. Is it his sense of ambition, youth-associated invincibility, fearlessness, and, I hate to admit this, naiveté? I can’t say that I miss his being a loner since I still enjoy being one. 

I know for sure that he didn’t have to worry about monthly bills, real estate taxes, stock market, getting older and associated weaker bones/muscles/immune system, high blood pressure, eyeball floaters, and memory loss.

So, why the constant need for comparison? Is it to make me feel good of how I have become? All the recognitions that I have proudly earned, successes that I have achieved, artistic bents that I have developed, and that I can now ice skate without falling? Hmmm…that’s a good start.

Anyway, it’s always a good thing to look back to the past. With that as a point of comparison, we can build on successes; strengthen weaknesses; avoid mistakes; and kindle, rebuild, and fortify relationships.

Oh, by the way, do you know that as I grow older, the more and more I look like our Papa? And if Mamang was still alive, she would not miss him as much.

So, thanks for being there, my 21-year-old self!